Nice guys finish last
1/11/2013 8:00:00 AM
Nice Guy Robbie makes it happen in "The Wedding Singer." Of course, having Billy Idol on your team helps.
Q: I've had girls I date dump me because I'm "too nice." Then I hear girls complaining about how they can't find any nice guys. If that's true, then why are they dumping us for being too nice???
A: Unfortunately for men (and some women) everywhere, there are two kinds of girls in the world. Those who are attracted to decent human beings and those who are attracted to jerks. The reasons are Freudian and beyond my capacity to explain here, suffice it to say that some girls just like drama and a challenge. Both Nicholas Sparks and the Twilight series are complicit in making girls believe that the best relationships involve some kind of mutual emotional torture. I have a better relationship with my coffee maker than those women.
As much as you might like girls like this, they are not worth your time and energy. They might seem more exciting and passionate, but they're looking for something they won't find with you, Mr. Nice Guy, and will drive you insane in the process (not to mention their girlfriends, who have to hear about this shit over and over and OVER again...). When those girls complain about not finding nice men, they're perhaps getting a little tired of dealing with their jerky boyfriend and are looking for some pity (again, because aforementioned girlfriends refuse to listen anymore), but that doesn't mean their nature or preferences are going to change. When they say "It's me, not you," they're telling the truth; these chicks have SERIOUS problems.
I'd also like to point out that you, sir, are a pot calling the kettle black. You whine about girls dumping you, then continue to chase after the same kind of girl. Don't say you thought she was a nice girl -- you can pick out the jerk-addicts from a mile away. As twisted as it sounds, it's probably some buried part of why you're attracted to them. And believe it or not, there are women who can't find nice men and really do want a stable relationship. But looking for a nice guy doesn't mean looking for ANY nice guy. The nice girls still care about chemistry, compatability and excitement, and if you can't deliver then no about of nice is going to fix that.
You may also have to face the possibility that you ARE too nice. Nice guys are great, but no one wants to date a doormat. If you're dating a girl and are trying to take it to the next level, don't just do everything she wants to please her. If she wants a maid she can find one on Angie's List; you need to be a man.