The subtle art of manscaping
1/14/2013 8:13:00 AM
Don't ever use this on your crotch, okay? Not ever.
Q: Do you like it shaved or unshaved?
A: I'm going to go ahead an assume you're referring to yourself, and that "it" is your manly bits. Because otherwise, I really don't know where this question could be leading...
The answer is neither and somewhere in between. Have you ever heard of the term "manscaping"? Yes, it's a stupid buzzword used to fill up the grooming pages of Maxim. But as insipid as it sounds, it's essential to not sending the ladies running to the authorities screaming that not only is Bigfoot alive, he lives in Chicago. Basically, it's keeping things well trimmed. There should be enough there so that we're not worried that you're a well-developed eight-year-old, but cleaned-up enough so we can see that you're unmistakably of the male sex. We shouldn't have to guess at what's under that forest.
There's another reason why you should never completely shave youself down there. Since you've obviously gone through puberty already (I hope) I assume that you know what razorburn and ingrown hairs are. Just think about that for a few minutes. Let the idea of that sensation in your nethers really sink in. And you're not the only one who will be suffering; we hate your stubble scratching our delicate lady faces when you kiss us. Let's not duplicate that frictional hell down below.
At the end of the day, cleanliness is more important than your...um...hairstyle. That doesn't mean don't tame that thing, but keep in mind that no amount of trimming will fix a hygeine problem.
Some manscaping tips: When you go to work down there, stick with trimmers and small, cosmetic scissors. Keep your instruments and the area clean, be very careful, and don't get carried away. We don't want to see you with some weird buzz cut or a lightening bolt. NO, it does NOT look cool. Who do you think you are, Flash Gordon? Well, you're not. You're just a guy trying to trim your junk.