Chivalry isn't dead, it's just very, very upset
1/18/2013 8:39:00 AM
"You, good sir, deserve a medal."
Q: Why if a guy is continually chivalrous, it becomes an act of habit for the girl to just sit down in the car when the door is opened for her, or walk through the door that was just opened for her, yet not show the gratitude after she's become "used to it"? BUT when the guy forgets, or is in a hurry, or maybe being spiteful for all the missed "thank you's," the girl will be very quick to notice and provide a snide remark like, "HEY! Aren't you going to open the door for me?"
A: Wow, you're really nursing that rage cocktail, aren't you? Any stories about when you were picked last for the kickball game or a 12th birthday un-vitiation you want to share?
I'm going to do something I hate. I'm going to turn to the dictionary. Let's just see what the real definition of "chivalrous" is, shall we?
a : marked by honor, generosity, and courtesy
b : marked by gracious courtesy and high-minded consideration especially to women
You'll note that Mr. Merriam-Webster or whomever does not say, "marked by gracious courtesy and high-minded consideration especially to women... who say thank you." Being chivalrous is a selfless act and proof that your mama raised you right, not a tit-for-tat exchange.
That said, yes, women should always say thank you, whether it's a man holding the door open for them or another woman. True common courtesy should be genderless. But what are you going to do, start an insane argument over the girl not thanking you for flexing your bicep? This is a just-let-it-go situation.
However, I may be a traitor to my mother's generation, but there are some acts of chivalry I just find ridiculous. No, I am not some hard-line "feminist" that doesn't need a MAN to open a door for ME. There are just certain acts that I find to be a bit extraneous. There is no need for you to get out of the car to open a door for me (That said, but don't just honk in the driveway when you're picking me up), I have fingers that open and close all by themselves (Side note: This rule does not apply to first dates when you want to make an extra-sparkly first impression). I do appreciate your offering to carry a bag when I have more than one, or to give me a ride somewhere when I was going to take the bus. Basically, I appreciate your offering help with anything that would cause a true inconvenience, even if it's small.
What I'm trying to say is that this is all your fault. Who was opening doors willy-nilly when all this began? You were, you reckless, reckless fool. Don't you know about the relationship Law of Relativity? The more shit you start doing the more she's going to expect. Look, Harry/Billy Crystal understands the concept perfectly:
Next you'll be doing that thing where you lay your jacket over a puddle so her dainty feet don't get wet. Then come the top hats and Keats readings and THEN where will we be?
Okay, that was all a gigantic exaggeration. My point is that you're bitching about something that can't be helped and you look peevish doing so. It's like dealing with the new guy behind the counter at Dunkin' Donuts who can't seem to keep up the pace while you're waiting for coffee. Just keep your trap shut; at the end of the day, it's a couple more seconds without coffee.