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After school special
Posted 1/25/2013 8:45:00 AM
high fidelity

Take it from a fictional Chicago character: Rob got kicked to the curb for refusing to grow up.

Q: My girlfriend and I both went to high school this year, and it was an exam time all January. I don't even remember the last time we met, maybe 1.5 months ago. She says she is super busy with studys now, and speaks with me quite rare. Today we met first time after exam time, and she still did not have enough time to meet as we usually did. And now I don't know how to get her time back, how to make her meet me often as it was always, instead of studying 24/7?
If it helps, we are quite different personalities, she is hard working girl, who wants to graduate perfectly.
I don't really care about any school, she did my homework when we were in school together. I skateboard all the time, cuz thats my passion.
Still she loves me and I love her, we are 4 years together, so the only problem appears on time now..
Please tell me whats happening if you can.
Thanx so much

A: At the risk of sounding like my mother, you are so young. 

Love is great and all, but at your age it's more likely to have an expiration date. The end of high school is the time when people will be entering and leaving your life in fairly considerable numbers. This is a good thing. You get to meet all kinds of new and exciting people, and you get to leave that drooler that always flicked spit balls at you 5th period French behind. Unfortunately, it's also a bit sad to see less and less of the people you care about. 

I'm not saying your girlfiend and you will grow apart, but I am saying that's a very real possibility, especially if you're both as different as you say you are. If she wants to study hard and make something of her life, don't pressure her or make her feel guilty for not hanging out with you (let's not undo all the work of Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem).She's trying to make something of herself at a very vital moment in her life, and you've got to let her do it. If she slacks in her studies and starts to do poorly, she might end up resenting you for it.

And if you really don't want to grow apart, why don't you try being more studious yourself? Do you think you're the first kid to prefer skateboarding over schoolwork? Believe me, "skateboard enthusiast" doesn't look fantastic on a resume, so you might want to consider amping up your study time or picking up a trade. And if you do manage to stay with your girlfriend she's not going to be pleased when she's a doctor or a lawyer or an astronaut and is paying all the bills. There are already too many men with Peter Pan syndrome out there - don't be another one.

Posted By: The Girl  

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