Disgusting Memorabilia
Posted 9/11/2012 1:17:00 PM

Ever since my first rock concert, I have always wanted to bring some kind of a souvenir home. Usually, it’s been the classic concert t-shirt. I love it when they start to look old and faded. Hell, I still have some of my old Judas Priest concert t-shirts with the black jersey sleeves. Rock ‘n Roll man!

Saturday night I was fortunate to score some front row tickets to see Motley Crue and Kiss up at one of my favorite venues – Alpine Valley. Crue and Kiss, now that’s an old school rock concert.  

Of course, I picked up a new KISS concert shirt on my way in and thought maybe I might score a guitar pick being so close to the stage. Usually, I end up giving away the guitar pics and stuff to other fans and friends. I don’t know, I just love to see the look on somebody’s face when they receive something unexpected. However, Saturday night I scored some memorabilia that might just be the most disgusting piece in my collection… and I kept it.

Let me paint the picture.

Motley Crue went on first. I didn’t make it in time to see the opening act due to work. Nikki Sixx was spitting water from his CamelPack all over the crowd. The girls seemed to love it, although I’m not sure why. Tommy opened up a whole bottle of champagne and dumped in one of my friends heads down a couple of seats from me. She loved it! Later Tommy decided to throw several 5 gallon buckets of ice cold water on the crowd. Considering that it was only 50 degrees with high winds, I’m not sure what kind of “cool factor” he thought that was going to be, but yeah… it was stupid, unnecessary, and not “rock and roll”. I guess if it was 100 degrees.. maybe.

I didn’t score anything from the Crue in the ways of memorabilia; however they did put on a great show as always, with Mick and Tommy being the stand out performers that night. God bless Mick Mars.

Kiss came on next, with all the usual showmanship and cheese that a veteran rocker would certainly expect from the worlds hottest band. Decked out in the classic wardrobe of armor plating, ravens wings, sequined spandex, thigh high stripper boots.. and of course complete with white clown makeup, Kiss is definitely as much about theatrics as it is the music.

I glanced over at Gene Simmons microphone and saw one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen on a live stage. Several foot long strings of Gene’s drool and saliva were dangling from his microphone. It looked like somebody had just pulled it off the set of Alien.

Whenever Gene would use Paul’s microphone he would slime that bad boy up too. I had to laugh because as soon as Paul came back to use the microphone, he would rip the black wind screen filter off it and chuck in on the floor. After seeing the dangling monstrosities still hanging off of Gene’s microphone, I don’t doubt why.

The Kiss boys aren’t shy about throwing out picks. I think ever person in the first 5 rows managed to score at least one. I caught one of Gene’s grey nylon pics and one of Pauls. Cool. Good stuff for the collection.

After the show was over, the road crew pulled out the leaf blowers to clean all of the confetti off the stage. One of those nasty black microphone wind filters that Paul ripped off his microphone after Gene sang came flying right at me like a missile. You know I caught it. You can see it in the attached photo.

Yes, there it was, one of the most disgusting pieces of rock memorabilia that I have ever seen sitting all slimy in my hand. With splotches of the classic white makeup, it was soaked through and through with Gene Simmons slime drool, or as several of my neighbors said with extreme aw “Gene Simmons DNA!!!” LOL which was usually followed by the phrase “wow, lucky”.

I’m not sure why, but I kept this moisture ridden piece of rock memorabilia. Perhaps so that I could extract the DNA someday like they did in Jurassic Park, maybe make some kind of Super Simmons, you know, splice Gene’s DNA with that of a frog. Or wait, is that what we have already?

Yes, the Gene Simmons DNA vestibule now resides in a special black case which also contains the picks and ticket from the show. I’m not sure if anybody else would even know what it is, let alone consider it collectible. But I do… and so it will live forever at the Patcave, enshrined in a place of glory for all of my drunk friends to admire and wonder.. “What the hell is that thing dude?”

You know, walking out of the concert with my girl Maria, I couldn’t help but think how much fun concerts still are for me. One of my first shows was Ozzy up at Alpine Valley, and now well over 30 years later I’m still enjoying walking out of that place with my ears ringing, my arm around my girl, saying “Look baby, I got a handful of Gene Simmons saliva”. You know what, I think I’ll never grow up.. and that’s totally cool with me.

Rock on!

Patrick Capone

Posted By: Pat  

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