By: Gino Giovannetti Pinch Hitting for Gino: June 12th, 2007 EDITOR'S NOTE : We regret to inform our reader
that as we go to press, Gino is undergoing reduction surgery with
the expressed hope that he will be able to wear Bermuda shorts to
"The Loop" company picnic. In Gino's absence, we are pleased
to have the venerable Larry King , host of CNN's "Larry
King Live," reprise his USA TODAY column and congratulate
Mr. King on his 50th year in broadcasting. LOS ANGELES -- Say what you will about HD-TV, but
my sources tell me they're here to stay.....Whatever happened to Sal
Mineo ?....Seated at my favorite booth at Nate 'N'
Al's in Beverly Hills it occurred to me--I'm dripping.....Who
threw Ellen Barkin from a moving car?.....Is it me
or does asparagus make your urine smell funny?.....Next Thursday on
"Larry King Live," the original Mr. Potato
Head !.....I know this is heresy here in Hollywood, but I'm
afraid that if we elect Barack we'll be "ba-roke!".....My
stool sample sold for nearly $10,000 on e-bay.....I've got more homes
than teeth.....Me thinks Rosie doesn't like you know
what.....What ever happened to Etch-A-Sketch(R)?.....Say what you
will about Angie Dickinson but she still puts out.....I
love Sly Stallone as "Ginko Biloba" in
all those boxing movies.....I've got ticks.....Reece's Pieces or M&Ms--
too close to call!.....I'd rather have a Mormon for president than
a moron.....I'm marketing my own cologne. It's called "Phlegm".....David
Brenner ? Fun-ny!.....I don't care about immigration reform.
I just want my leaf blower back.....I quit driving when I caught my
"ouch pouch" under the gas pedal.....I like to say "Lollapalooza!".....I'm
computer illiterate.....Last night I gave Shawn the
Ol' "Dutch Oven.".....I've got blotches on my blotches...Meredith
Viera gives me a boner.....I'll bet I could still take Regis .....I'd
give my left one to sing and dance like Tony Danza .....Is
it me or is it getting warmer?.....My ears ring.....Me thinks we should
have left the Ruskies out of the G-7..... If you haven't seen Kirk
Douglas in "Spartacus," check it out.....You
heard it here first: "stem cell research!".....Whatever
happened to Fabian ?.....Who doesn't like cottage
cheese?.....I don't get it, I don't even play softball.....That Anderson
Cooper kid is gettin' under my liver spots.....How do you
tell the mother of your kids she's too damn old?.....You haven't seen
women swoon until you see me and Bob Barker at the
Smoke House.....I'd love to see major league baseball return to D.C.....Whatever
happened to that crocodile hunter guy?.....I just like to say "bungalow.".....I've
got a prostate the size of a basketball.....Is it me or does Michael
Jackson look pekid?.....I've got Katie Couric's colostomy
on DVD.....I want to be euthanized.....Martha Stewart
in a word: hot, hot, hot!.....Is it me or is Princess Di
keeping a low profile these days?..... Listen to your Uncle Lar: "Garlique!.....If
I visited Paris in jail it would be like that scene
from "Midnight Express." .....Somebody tell me what
a "euro" is. It's not snails, is it?.....Monday on "Live,"
Jack Kevorkian and Tammy Faye Baker .....I
haven't had a heart attack in days.....Shawn must
be working late.....I love to waltz.....I did a body shot with George
Clooney's Aunt Rosemary and have been on a ventilator ever
since..... I have jaundice.....Somebody answer that.....Do you work
for me? Good. Give me a shot of insulin.....I'm feeling faint.....Wednesday
on "Live," Suzanne Pleshette !.....I
like seared tuna.....I look good in teal.....What's with that "Sopranos"
ending? .....I'm oozing again.....Where are my kneesocks?.....Whatever
happened to the Twin Towers?...Gino Giovannetti
is a member of “The Jonathon Brandmeier Show”
on “The Loop,” WLUP Radio 97.9-FM Chicago. He is a graduate
of the University of Wisconsin School of Journalism in Madison and
also attended the Ernie Pyle School of Journalism at Indiana University
in Bloomington. The views and opinions of Gino do NOT represent those
of WLUP Radio, Emmis Communications, Inc., or anyone with a brain
the size of a walnut. ©2006 All Rights Reserved. Gino@WLUP.com
SONGS
WE JUST PLAYED
